A Mantra for The Wild Ride of 2025
Can you feel it? The upcoming year is going to be wild - something tells me we’re all going to be surprised in the best and worst of ways. How are you going to ensure you ride the coming waves centered and supported? One way I plan to do so is define a mantra for the year.
Last year, the mantra was Courage, and it was a powerful tool to navigate the various blue skies and rat nests I found myself in. As we welcome a fresh year and chart our intentions, I’ve decided that the mantra for 2025 is Discernment.
Discernment is about pausing before I commit—making intentional choices that align with my values, time, and energy. In a world saturated with demands and draws on our attention, discernment helps filter through what’s essential and what can be avoided. While it’s tempting to say “yes” to all the amazing invitations, a “yes” is more meaningful when it’s given purposefully.
One of the ways to practice discernment is through healthy boundaries. Upholding boundaries and animating discernment invites the often-uncomfortable act of saying “no.” To keep that “no” compassionate, below are a a few conversational moves that support us in maintaining connection, and not having our “No” act as a repellent.
“That Doesn’t Work for Me … Here’s What Might.” Instead of a flat “no,” we can frame a refusal in terms of our own needs. This dialogic aikido move reminds the other that we’re having unique experiences. For example, “That doesn’t work for me because of my current workload. However, I’d be willing to discuss it again next quarter.”.
“Yes, If…” Sometimes the request itself isn’t a total deal-breaker; it just needs a bit of refining. In these cases, “Yes, if…” works wonders. For instance: “Yes, if we can have a dedicated team member to help, I can meet that deadline.” This fosters collaboration and demonstrates that an openess to finding common ground without sacrificing bandwidth.
The ‘Priority No.’ When someone asks to add a new project on top of an already full plate, we can share a bit more about our existing commitments, so the other gets the bigger picture. "My current goal is to crush my TEDxSonomaCounty presentation in March, and I don't think I'd be able to give your project my full attention right now. I'm happy to advise in the meantime." This "priority no" tends to cultivate empathy rather than disappointment.
“One In, One Out.” If an opportunity is appealing but my schedule is maxed out, I’ll apply a simple rule: for every new commitment I accept, I let go of an existing one. This ensures I’m not spreading myself too thin. It also encourages conscious decision-making—am I truly willing to drop something else for this new request? If the answer is no, then it’s an easy pass.
These various forms of “No” aren’t about shutting people down; they’re about cultivating discernment. By stating what I can and cannot take on, I allow for genuine collaboration and mutual respect. More importantly, I take care of my needs which enables me to show up more fully and present for the "yes'"
As you step into 2025, I invite you to explore what it means to live with discernment. What areas of your life need more clarity? How can you empower yourself to say “no” in a way that honors both your needs and your relationships? Here’s to a year of intentional choices, healthier boundaries, and the freedom that discernment brings. Have a wonderful start to 2025!